These News Archives start in 2003 and go all the way back to 2000.  If you read from the bottom up you'll see exactly where I came from.

Nothing to see here... move along.  Gawd, do I wish there was something, anything to report... to get me interested in this website again... to get me interested in writing again.  I've become a casual observer of life, not the intense observer I once was.  Because that's what writing, at least mine anyway, was built around.  Mimicking and reporting on the human condition, human behavior and all that jazz.  That's how characters are built and most of my stories are built around a character.  Without those observations I have nothing to write about.  I take that back... I'm intense with my kids but that's nothing I want to write about... actually, I'll even take that back, because I do want to write about it - I just can't write about it.  I've got literally hundreds of snippets in docs here and there with ways for Better Parts to get moving again, but there's so many little parts to put together I it's a turn off.   

Guess whose back?  You were waiting for a "back again" weren't you?  :)  Well, I wish I could say that because who knows that is - back again.  I can't call myself back because I don't feel like much of a writer anymore.  I mean the passion still burns deep and I can see myself picking this up again, but right now it's the least of my troubles. 

I've always intended this website to be a forum for my musings and all things related to this exposure I'm hoping to build and have... and most of all a promotional tool with little tidbits and junk about me.  And I think since there's nothing really happening in the avenues this venue is supposed to exploit, I ignore it.  And if there is anyone out there reading it, they must feel slighted and I'm off their favorites list by now.  So, what I'm going to try and do henceforth is use this much like the outlet that my short story writing was back some 7 years ago now.  I'll pop in from time to time and type to get stuff off my chest.  My hope and goal is two fold... you'll learn a little more about me and perhaps some of what transpires here on this page will give way to something more.  One thing always worked for me in my writing was sitting down and writing emails to people bitching about stuff... after sending off a 3 page letter to this person and a 2 pager to this person the juices get flowing and some of what I just talked about bled into something more tangible.  So maybe this will help.  While I do fire off about 30 emails a day, none of them hardly ever surpass the one paragraph mark and are mostly "day job" oriented.  So I need to get back into practice and you get to be a witness to that. 

My plans still have not changed.  When The Wall will eventually see day light, in fact I'll make the call later today to let someone know that this needs to get done and it will get done.  I also intend on finishing up Better Parts and working on some new old stuff.  So there is a plan and there is hope... I cannot deny this thing inside me that says keep trucking, but like I've said how many times before, my family comes before all else and my family has needs and those needs are met by the day job and my family and my day job don't give me enough time for this "hobby" so it's kind of found it's way to the back burner.  And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the complete lack of enthusiasm for my stuff has me questioning it's necessity... so I've got a quandary happening and every day I find something else to get into that puts more distance between me and my impending writing fortitude. 

What's been going on... most recently I've finally gotten the 2nd bathroom project underway and if that wasn't enough, I've got the kids excited about having a full-fledged playground in the backyard.  I've been doing a lot on eBay and I've actually been in contact with a long lost friend and that seems to be getting on remarkably well.  My wife, just yesterday, discovered the power of Google and took to googling ourselves.  She was pretty upset that my daughter had more hits than her.  So, here's you hit honey - Kathy Bohatka - and she wasn't too pleased that in my absence from this web space that I neglected to mention the birth of my baby boy last August.  And I'm sure I mentioned it somewhere, sometime; she just didn't see it... but in case she's reading this, yes you gave me the most beautiful son a guy could ask for.  I muddle, prattle and peddle along daily trying to keep everyone happy and the ends meeting.  Been spending a lot of time lately rediscovering the Beatles and eBay.  Waiting patiently for my 3rd Pearl Jam concert next weekend and other than that I can't wait for the weather to stabilize in the mid-70s so I can get back into some shape other than huge and have some BBQ.  I'm also looking forward to the summer movie season with the Matrix and X-Men sequels; and I'm sure there's plenty of others I'm forgetting... but I must digress.  Have to attend to in the real world.  Good night for now cyber space.

New Year.  New Year?

Been awhile since I've typed here, but no one has complained.  I know I promised a new site design, and I'm sure those of you that were paying attention just thought I was busy working on that.  Well, I haven't.  I did try, but I gave up for many, many reasons.  I'm ready to try again.

There is one thing I realized in the 6 months since I've visited here; that is how much time having a home, two children, a loving supportive wife and a 3 hour commute steal from you.  I just haven't had time to catch my breath let alone devote myself to the site and/or my craft.  I need to buy time or bottle it up.  Things will change this year.  One of the biggest hurdles I had was being unable to work on my stuff anywhere other than home.  I was fortunate enough to have the day job spring for a new notebook for me, so I'm finally in the 20th century (yes I said 20th seeing as we're still well behind the curve) and I'll be able to work in my free time.  So, things will change - just as the world is changing. 

My first goal in this new year is to finally get When the Wall Came Tumbling Down out of printed sheets and into book format.  I'm also hoping this will be the year of sales.  In all of last year I sold 4 friggin books!  4 books in 12 months.  I guess the blessing in disguise there is that I have no idea who those 4 books went to.  I'm so used to selling books to relatives that it's a shock to the system if one is sold without my knowledge.  The other thing I've already started, since the government was nice to me this tax season, is donating some books I have in my inventory to my local libraries.  I already got them in 3 branches of the Cuyahoga County Library, but I've yet to appear in their online catalog - maybe if someone wants to keep checking on that for me that'd be great.  And lastly, I know I've said it for many, many moons, but I think this year might be the year you can walk by and laugh at c b j sitting in front of a book store.  :)

Adieu for now.

When it's not good - does that make it bad? 

I found out recently that if the book isn't submitted by November 4th, I can probably count on it not being available until after Christmas.  But, that won't stop me from trying to bust it out before then.  If time doesn't permit, I won't submit... I want to give it the utmost attention because this is the best novel I've ever written and it deserves that patience and attention. 

Special Offer!!! If you pre-order When the Wall Came Tumbling Down now for $17, not only will you receive free shipping when it's available, you are eligible to get 50% off Enough Shorts for a Wardrobe OR The Root Beer Kid.  So, if you need to catch up on one of the other books, this is your opportunity.  Please email me to place your order.

Everything else is as usual... I haven't done a lick of writing since we last spoke, and I don't feel the urgency.  I do however still feel good about that.  I feel that when I do return I'll be able to spend days scratching out page after page until it's finished.  I mean, honestly, the bulk of the work is there, I just need to flesh it out and resolve it all.  It's going to be a massive talkie with lots of heartfelt thought and perception... it'll be good.  I just wish I could show you more.  :)  I'm off to my weekend... planning on doing some major unwinding and then some massive recoiling... I'll explain more next week.  C'ya.

Status, part II.  Just as Pink Floyd had The Wall, I get a part deux too.  :)  Just hung up the mighty telephone, was speaking with my illustrious editor and it looks like cbj here goofed up a couple major things.  Not to worry, however... super-editor is on the job.  We'll be meeting next week to compare notes and get everything fixed.  I say next week, because at the pace she's on, it will be finished by 5pm on Friday.  Wow, it's like a regular job for her!  :)  Again, we're back on course... we veered wildly for awhile there, but were back.  I think I'll have to change that banner above though - coming this WINTER. 

I'm also in good shape... not championship form... but I'm in good shape.  I'm going back into training and I do anticipate to spar once or twice in the coming days... (keyboard - lookout!).  For those of you who aren't hip with  the boxing analogies flying left and OW, right hook!  I'm getting back into the swing of things (again with the boxing stuff).  I've shed some of my self-imposed shell and I'm looking to jump back into social situation... I'm back into the parental roles that will underline my next novel.  Beyond that the "sparing" I was referring too will culminate in both updates on this site, both meaningful and mundane.  And I have a short story or two I want to click out.  That's my practice.  Once I get back into the habit of writing and doing it with discipline and demeanor I think I'll be able to get back in the ring (:)) and knock out some more pages/chapters or Better Parts.  And because I sting like a ... err, I'll have a rough completed novel by the end of the year.  That'll leave all of next year to get the thing ready for publication.  And that would make my goal.  4 books, 4 years... once that is done my plan will be to have a new piece of pulp every two, two and a half years.  If I'm diligent about it I can have a novel done in a year, year and a half.  With editing and prepping and with my current publishing situation, it is as I stated.  If I ever get picked by a major, that will probably get extended to 3 or 4 years.  In the meantime when I'm not banging out novels, I hope to be doing other things... who knows.  I think my goal and my dream would be to have a major publisher, get a decent enough contract and advance to take the day job and make it part-time/as needed, and spend my days 9am to 1pm (as King does) with the keyboard under finger.  Hmm, I like that... keyboard under finger.  I'm going to use it.  I'm off to tag the big bag.  :)

Status... just a few more days and I should be motivated enough to start trying to rework this mess of a site.  Like I said some 4 months ago, I got big ideas and small time.  I'll do what I can. 

Just talked to mom (for those of you that don't know - editor extraordinaire) and she's says editing rests on page three... now, what she didn't say was if there's been so many problems between pages 1 and 3 that it's taking her so long, or if she's just being lazy... I don't know if I should re between the lines.  :)  So, my release schedule is going to be pushed back... I'd like to still shoot for a Christmas release.  We'll see. 

More coming... I promise.

It's Friday - It's been 4 months and that's all I can say?  "It's Friday"?  I know what your thinking... I got some 'splaining to do.  Well, it's been a busy 4 months.  I'd like to introduce you to Charles John Bohatka... well, in name only.  He was born August 31st at 5:37pm and has been my focus for the bulk of the 4 months.  Sorry... stuff happens.  I also went through so other mild breakdowns in that time, none of which I'll share at this point, but it does explain why the site was linking to an R.E.M. lyrics page and some of you may have figured it out... everybody hurts sometimes.  But, I just wanted to drop in and say "hi".  I'm still alive and kicking and things are going to start getting back to somewhere.  I promised a lot for this year and so far have delivered none... so I have some things to make up and catch up on... and for now you sell below some of the updates I tried to write in those four months and some of the mental breakdowns I had... enjoy.  :) 

Rethunk... it does appear that it's dead but I can't help remember it.  I remember the nights... typing till four am, hoping it makes sense the next morning... never for a second wondering if anyone else would ever see this dribble... I think when I sought that first agent... one that stole $700 from me... the one that sent me lists of publishing houses he was approaching... yes I have a $700 list of publishers... he's the one that stole my innocence... the one that clued me in to the harsh realities in the book world... the one that started this bitter ness... frankly I'm tired of thinking about it and whatever happens, happens... if I write again, I write again... if I don't, I don't.  As Vonnegut said, "sobeit".

Two hours, thirty-four minutes and going on 11 seconds...

That's how long it's been since I wrote what's below... and I feel pain... or better yet, I feel sickness... like something has died.  Is this mourning?  Am I grieving over letting go of my dreams, my ambitions, my goals?  Is that what I did?  I didn't think it was all that much... I just know I feel funky... I'm in the solution business in the real world... but I can't seem to find one for this... I can't reconcile my goals and dreams and ambitions with the time I provide for them... they are neglected... how can I just return to them on my whim and abuse them like that?  How can I be thinking about abusing goals?  It's absurd but that's what I think this feeling is... I have turmoil... inner turmoil about what I want out of life.  I have most of what I want, but I want it easier... I want it better... I want it without the real world.  I've said it before, I want to worry only about words on the screen... how they fit together, who they offend and what they accomplish... but I go this day job and I got this family... and they feel neglect more than these goals and words do... I don't have the lower back strength anymore... I don't have the steel... I've resolved to cut this part of me out and it hurts.  I'm on the brink of tears right now... seriously, it's all so childish, but it means so much to me, I figure, otherwise I wouldn't feel this way... maybe I'm the one whose neglected... I'm the one who doesn't get the attention... not the words, not the family, not the real world... I don't know what it is... but something isn't right and I can't seem to turn back to my friend... the one that was there on only lonely occasions, those lonely nights where we made an adjective a predicate and vice-versa... it seems I'm mourning the loss of that friend... it's been a year since he left me and it's finally sinking in... I can't write!  Something always distracts me... something is always left out to wash... I can't fit it in... there's always an excuse...  

Is it settling?  Let me start this update with the usual apology... I've been gone a while and I return with some unsettling pontification...

But before all that psychobabble and general uneasy pacing and my musings for greater sustenance and meaning, a little contest I pitched a few months ago and reached its crashing crescendo... (boy all the words today!)... I had one entry and it wasn't even correct... so, in order to get the thing out of my house, I will award the participant with the loot.  Christopher Bohatka from LaGrange, Ohio.  Well, gee, at least I know someone pays attention... so Chris, here's some paper to get your next camp fire started. 

I'm in a foul mood... maybe not foul... bitter.  I'm feeling like giving up... throwing in the towel.  It's obvious that I don't even matter to myself anymore.  It used to be that I'd come here and type away and I'd pretend that someone out there would read it, secretly, under the covers by flashlight... I'd pretend that someone cared... and that was fine for me.  All I needed to keep me going was that thought... that little bit of hope that anyone read my words, that they found something interesting or useful in them... that they wished I would update more often, give more insight into myself and what I do... but it's become clear to me that I've been kidding myself and I'm tired of the betrayal.  I've got one book being proofread, once that's done, I'll go through the motions... I'll have three books on MY bookshelf with MY name on them and it will continue to contribute to MY happiness.  And I'll leave it at that... someday my kids will ask why I stopped, and well I have a good number of years to come up with answers, hell maybe even rebuild my muse and my need for my hobby... but it was foolish of me to think it could be anything more.  Whether it was my lack of desire or my inability to emote further than a slug in a pie pan of beer, it's become a big burden on my soul... maybe like they say, "If you love something and set it free, if it returns it was meant to be" or whatever it is... you get the point... maybe I have to have this breakdown and come to grips that nothing new has come from my head in over a year (novel or story wise) and maybe nothing else will ever present itself through my fingers again... but like I was saying, it has become a burden to me to worry about when I'll be able to write again, why I haven't been able to write... why no one cares about what I write.  I'd like to just set it aside and feel good about, although I don't think I'll ever have closure and I'll always wonder what could've been, I feel like I have to walk away.  I need to tell myself I'm never going to make it as an author.  I don't pass muster.  I don't assert myself... I'm just a computer guy with a mortgage, a wife and two kids trying to be the best parent, husband and citizen I can be... that's all... there's too many movies to be seen... too many projects to undertake... too many ambitions to fulfill in other facets of my life... there's just no more space for my words... for my psychology. 

I'm hanging it up... it's over.  I will have a new novel this year... and it will fill a space on my bookshelf, but I doubt anyone else will notice.  I'll continue to find solace in my achievements and the fact that I agonized for years producing what I have and leave it at that... so I'm settling... settling for everyday life... settling for the dreams in my sleep as opposed to those in my future... settling for nothing. 

Slacking.  I said I'd have a new website for you by now... well my muster disappeared for that project when I discovered that my thoughts weren't easily translated to reality.  Anyway, I still hope to do something different with the place and hope to introduce some uniformity, but right now it'll happen as it happens. 

Haven't been doing much other than real world stuff lately... been busy at work and play.  Hoping that will change soon with a change of scenery.  More later.

Hype, hype you say?  I told you I'd do it, so here it is:

c b j Productions reviews Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

First of all, let me start by saying I'm a fanboy... have been since I was 7 years old when moms and pops took me down to Kamms Corner to see the Return of the Jedi.  Mom was taken with the Ewoks, Dad, I think, was a mild fan of the series himself.  Me, I was a fan... I loved everything about it... and what's not to love about light sabers and droids, spaceships, aliens and the drama?  With that said, I saw the movie twice already... same day in fact.  There was nothing like being there, in line for the 10am showing on a DLP screen.  Man, was it amazing!  The picture was absolutely vivid... the sound, crisp, intoxicating... the movie, everything I'd hoped for.  It was great!  Almost nuff said... but I must throw out these little tidbits.  I like where the series is going... Episode 3 is going to be the best film ever.  And we all know what happens after that.  The emperor playing everything like a masterful game of chess against himself is a bit of a stretch to truly grasp, but once you do, you can see how wonderful this saga is.  Hayden... he was good, really good, at the whinning and winning... going to be hella good seeing how he drifts to the wrong side of the tracks... and I guess that in itself is a sore spot... he's the good guy, we're supposed to be rooting for him, but he becomes this sinister force that nukes a planet.  All in all, on the digital screen I would've paid double what I did and waited twice as long to see it.  On the regular film screen the movie looked soft... washed out, too bright even.  Blacks were grey and whites hurt my eyes... light sabers looked blasphemous... and the sound, while much louder, was more muddied... it didn't have the crisp effects the digital theater had and there was too much reverb.  Anyway, the movie was good... I enjoyed it thoroughly and Yoda kicks much a$$!  I couldn't take my eyes off the little fella... he single handly put the fantasy back in the franchise for me. 

Believe it or not the basement theater is almost done... I'll post pictures as soon as I can... and I'm telling you this because my time won't be as monopolized by household projects and I'll be able to get after Better Parts again... no news from Mom on the Wall read... back soon.

Sorry, so so sorry... Here I'm writing this update about being sorry for not updating and what do I do... not update!  Sheesh... I'm a bad webmaster!  Sorry again... for those of you that actually follow my travails. 

Here's the latest... I've been embroiled in collecting and cleaning as of late.  My collection of McFarlane Sportspicks is pretty much complete until August.  I'm happy... but in the meantime I've been trying to clear out everything else that doesn't have much of a home in my surroundings anymore... and I'm talking about tons of action figures.  I think the predominant collector in me has finally settled for something... and that's still a cool figure.  Period.  Seriously, if it's cool and it appeals to me I'll want it.  It also seems that I've lost favor for things in a package, but then again I can't destroy profit.  With my McFarlane Sportspicks collection (I'm into NFL & NBA mostly) I do have a set of the chase figures (different color jerseys) and regulars that I have on "display".  Anyway, enough about my sophomoric hobby... I will leave you with this photo (which I hope to do more regularly now - post photos, not update you on silly hobbies.) 

Another thing I'm going to try to start doing regularly is having contests... giving away some stuff.  This time out anyone who can identify all of the people in the picture above will win the printed, marked up, final edit copy of Enough Shorts for a Wardrobe signed by not only myself, but the editor herself, Mom!  Submit entries to contest@cbjproductions.com.  Correct entries will be drawn at random on June 29th, 2002. 

In other news, I've finally become a Padawan... err, completed my course in Flash.  (Sorry, the Star Wars hype machine has caught up with me... I will post a review of the movie Friday, BTW).  So, what that means is basically, I've started to tackled the site layout and presentation... expect a good change to the header shortly.  And be sure to update to the latest Flash Plug-In... not sure if I will offer a non-flash alternative at this point (just don't have the time). 

Got to see Spiderman last weekend... very, very good summer movie.  It wasn't too campy... it wasn't too straight.  It has some great character development and I loved Tobey as Peter Parker.  Inside the suit, his voice wasn't doing it for me (I'm very partial to the cartoon dude) but that's such a shallow thing to worry about... I also thought some of the CGI was too fast and it was that way to hide certain inadequacies, but like I said it was a very good movie.  I look forward to seeing it again at c b j Productions theater, which is very near completion... just need the carpet dude to get over and finish his job. 

Spoke with mom yesterday - Mom's day - of course and she didn't have much to report along the lines of that final proof read... it's still too early to worry about that however.  She has her August 1 deadline and I'm sure she'll hit that. 

Been awhile... sorry sorry... I know I said I would never do that again... but alas I did it.  One month between updates... its been a busy and no eventful month. 

When the wall is being reviewed for the last edits so I've entered my almost summer lull.  That's not to say that I don't have stuff going on.  I'm pressuring myself to get working on Better Parts again... and that super-special-secret thing is still turning around in my head.  So I've got stuff going on, just not anything newsworthy... I'd expect it to be slow round here.

I just got back from vacation... ahh, seven days away... 3 days in Boca Raton, 4 days in Orlando... had a great time and can't wait to do it again.  Got to work on my video skills and see Mickey Mouse up close.  Went on some decent rides and watched Kiley go from annoyed to excited in ten footsteps almost everyday... and the weather was amazing! 

My lips are sealed... I just finished my last edit on When the Wall Came Tumbling Down.  I'm going to rest on it until the end of the week, just in case my subconscious wants another go at any particular area.  But in doing that, something absolutely ingenious jumped to me.  It's not any ground breaking... but it is super cool and it is super under wraps... I have all about 6 months to pull it off.  Here's to good fortune!  :)  I'm sure in the coming weeks, as I delve deeper into it, I'll post some snippets and sneaks... some previews and hints... some thoctkes and hints.  But for now, all you get, is I got a good idea.  !  :)

I started writing the below a week ago today... I guess I never got around to posting it... sorry.  There isn't much going on - really.  I'm hard at work editing, revising, whatever-you-wanna-call-it on When the Wall Came Tumbling Down and I'm pretty much done with it... I think I got 6 more chapters to go.  Mom get ready!  I'm also preparing (physically and psychologically) for vacation one month from now... it is on that trip that work will resume on To Better Parts and Other Places, because I'll be spending 9 some hours sitting either in an airport or on a plane.  And hopefully thereafter I'll spend two days sitting on the beaches of Fort Lauderdale and/or Boca Raton, crisping up myself while building nice elaborate sand castles with my daughter and full body (sans helmet of course) sand casts of my wife and the bulge in her belly that will be another bundle of joy four months thereafter.  And then it's four days in the kingdom Walt built... this will be the first time that all of my exploits will be pedestrian... we aren't getting a car, instead we're relying on boats, buses and monorails to escort us where we need to go.  So... argh... see this is why this never gets updated.  Just got three calls from different people with different problems... I need this vacation like I need oxygen!  I'm getting so tired of listening to problems and fixing problems... the phone never rings with good news, ya know?  Anyway, while I have a down period I'm going to go to the relief room... signing out.

Pains me... it pains me to admit that there are some things that I just don't get.  Take a few for instances, which kind of build on each other... I read an article a few years back that something like 4 out of 5 serial killers had a copy of Catcher in the Rye, the novel by J.D. Salinger.  I think at the time I read this Pearl Jam had released Yield which has a song called "In Hiding" that was rumored to be about Salinger himself... this was also around the time that that Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts movie came out, Conspiracy Theory, on video... and as you know Mel has this compulsion to own every copy of said book... so with all these things going hand in hand I decided that, also around this same time of year, I would ask for said novel for my birthday.  And I did receive it, a nice Doubleday $5.95 pocketbook, and I poured through it hoping to be transformed into a serial killer... :)  alright, maybe not, but to at least figure out what makes this such a great piece of American literature... and I failed.  I couldn't figure it out.  Sure it's a great piece of literature... Salinger can put together wonderful sweeping portraits with letters and he crafts one hell of a character, but what is it about?  Why am I investing time in this?  There isn't much of a redeeming quality to it... I'm probably going way out on a limb here that leaves me exposed to a lot, but I see a good piece of literature that I would only read to write a report on.  It's not good entertainment it what I think I'm getting too... sure I loved the scenes with the hooker and the hotel, but nothing else really sticks... it's a study thing.  I can however appreciate it and I do list it up there among things that I like... which may read like an oxymoron because it really is.  And this moron exists for other things as well... I rented Ghost World this weekend... I liken the story to that of Rushmore and Boogie Nights - two other movies that I didn't get, because they exist in a linear format with nothing really important to say... they were created as entertainment, they are presented as entertainment, but all I'm seeing is this story of life... the highs, the lows and her comes the ending and all is well... I sat there watching Ghost World and wondered how long this movie was... I wondered what it was about, merely Enid wandering around trying to figure it out, alienate herself and then try to get back to good... I wondered, I wondered, I wondered... I did so much wondering that the movie was lost to me.  What I did find was that I really enjoy watching Thora Birch with her jet black hair and cynicism... but then I realized that I watched her do that in American Beauty too.  And this Scarlet Johanson I liked her too... and Steve Buscemi, is Steve Buscemi and I'll forever be a fan, but overall I feel jipped out of $4.  What the hell was this movie about?  Call it my generation, call it my ADD, but I want a movie to be about something... I want a book to be about something... not just a random snap shot of the shitty life these characters are leading.  I want Enid to become a crack whore and watch Rebecca scrape her off the sidewalk after ruining Seymore's life.  I don't merely want to watch her wander around wondering what she's doing wrong to deserve this... I do that every day and I don't want to see it on screen... I want to be entertained!  It's my $4! 

A movie like Boogie Nights, while I don't get it, I get it and I do owe this on DVD and count it among one of the last to sell (which lately is how I rate movies - will it be gone the next time I need cheese, will it be around for one more viewing, will I hang on to it to check out the special features someday, or this must be on my DVD shelf for all time...)... essentially Marky Mark decides to become a porn star, he meets the right people to become a porn star, he becomes a porn star, he becomes a good porn star, he starts messing around, his ego gets inflated and he starts to fall out of favor, he hits the bottom, he bounces, he is saved, and he is a returning porn star.  It's a linear progression, the rise and fall arch... a typical thing that all the "avant-garde" film makers are doing... P.T. Anderson, Wes Anderson, (hmm, both Anderson's?), this Zwigoff fella... and it just doesn't grab me... they feel like independent movies because they are... none of the studios bought them because there is nothing to buy... the same story arch can be found watching my bank account day to day.  And there's real filmmakers out there doing this same thing, but with a story that don't get quite the same kudos these guys have... David Fincher, Bryan Singer, Night Shyamalan, Peter Jackson (granted the last three have had huge success in the last 3 years).   

It's March already?  What happened... who pulled away my time?  March 6th and it's a beautiful day here in Northeastern Ohio... the sky is blue, the air is pushing along a 50 degree breeze... there's even a yellow dot in the sky illuminating everything.  Since writing the tirade below I have found some more navigation-friendly waters.  And it looks promising... and following along the "everything is wonderful" tone of this post, although I haven't touched When the Wall in a week, it is still moving along smashingly - 30 chapters down, 16 to go.  The plan remains the same as it always has... finish the edit, deliver the manuscript to mom for editing, resume work on Better Parts, get script back from mom, re-read closing the book on her suggestions and changes of my own, finish Better Parts rough draft, start shopping around Wall manuscript to agents and/or publishers, if no takers by October - iUniverse here we come.  New novel out in November... just in time for the 13th anniversary of the wall come tumbling down.  :)  If we do have some takers then we'd, naturally, be happy campers, but we'd be lucky if we saw the novel published in time for the 15th anniversary.  But then again, my whole life will have changed and in that whirlwind those two years would probably disappear just like the past two months have.  :) 

March... we got March Madness to look forward too... free agent signings in the NFL... we got the release of Hunchback of Notredame (1 & 2 - I'm a sucker for Disney flicks and the direct-to-video sequels), Romeo + Juliet special edition, and the first season of one of my favorite TV shows and one that I completely forgot about after moving out of my parents basement - Oz.  Not to mention the show I first discovered in my parents basement and haven't missed an episode of yet - Friends.  And Say Anything finally came out, as well as an extra special edition of Usual Suspects.  And that's all for now...

It SuCKS!  Man does it ever suck to worry about cheese... just a rat in a cage filled with rage trying to get some cheese!  Rat race... cheese... so many analogies sitting there... I've been trying to outrun creditors for awhile now... keeping them at bay with my little toothpick of a sword but I'm tired of fighting, so I'm out to do some consolidation.  But, because of my little toothpick sword I can't secure anything... my credit scores are too low.  I don't have enough equity in my collateral.  I haven't been a home owner long enough.  I've heard just about every truthful rejection possible and I'm frazzled.  I'd been swinging this toothpick for so long just to piss off these credit card companies, the barrel-scraping, bottom-dweller swine like Capital One and Providian because I knew that soon enough I could send them a check and have my life back... well, guess what - they're laughing at me.  They made it so I couldn't write that all forgiving check and get them out of my life, instead they're going to keep me parrying and thrusting with my toothpick until I've paid them twice over with all their fees and charges.  There's something wrong with the system when you can't get a loan to pay off creditors that will only work for all parties involved... If I've paid my house payment consistently and honestly, on time and with a little extra for almost a year already and have built up plenty of equity, why in the hell can't I start using that to help me?  I want a single loan to pay for it all... I've worked the numbers... I'll save myself $600 a month by sending one check (albeit a rather large one) to the mortgage company... and $600 should absolutely feed my expanding family... but it just sucks... there's something wrong with the system.  And check this... if I were to get a loan, I'd be subject to higher fees and crap because I'm trying to get everything organized... I know, I know... I got myself into this cage, but why is it so damned hard to escape.  Enough bitching...

I've been pretty active with When the Wall Came Tumbling Down.  And like I've said prior it's truly a kick ass story like no other I've written... it's just fun, like I've always maintained, but I'm beginning to see that it's a page turner as well.  I've got enough loops swirled about that you want to see what's next (at least I do when I'm editing it - been a good two years since I spent any time with the bastard)... it's a fine story that should reasonably well, put me somewhere on the map. 

Speaking of maps... I just read an encounter with a fellow iUniverse author who got a two book deal from Random House just recently... and I was excited for her.  This was the first time that I heard of the "majors" taking notice of us independent do-it-ourself-ers.  It made me feel good and gave me hope that if I keep at it, completely hone in on my craft that I too could maybe find myself with a major someday.  I got stories and ideas for miles and would love to spend every 8am to 5pm spinning pages for roughly $40 an hour.  This life I'm leading now it's again pulling me down... it's so mundane and dismal... I can't take it anymore.  But anyway, back to my newfound hope... her name was Laurie Notaro (www.laurienotaro.com) and the book and the website look very interesting and from what I've read she was a media hound who never turned down and invitation and had pride and faith in her work... I think that's what I'm really lacking.  I cower in fear that I've spent all this time doing something that sucks... I want to be recognized and I want to be liked and enjoyed and read aloud around the world, but I don't have the assurance in my work.  I do have it with Wall, but the stuff before I don't know... maybe that's why I'm so confident that something will happen with Wall, because I do have the conviction in it... I know it's good, I know it's grand and I know it's worth reading.  So, I'll work on building my self-confidence and work toward that lifestyle I spoke of above, because the biggest part of that whole thing (the spending 8am to 5pm spinning pages for roughly $40 an hour) is that I don't want to have to drive three hours everyday any more.  I don't want to only bring home $1200 every two weeks.  I don't want to have to fend off phone calls at 8am from anxious creditors with toothpicks and sarcasm.  I don't want to miss my family the way I do and be so inept when I get back to them as to only want to veg out with myself.  I want, I need more Chuck time, and I want and need more time to dedicate to creative and useful things... not sitting behind a desk waiting for a problem to arise so I can feel useful.  I'm a lump, a lumpy rat in a cage chasing my tail for some cheese while yielding a toothpick that's half broken, along with my will to keep doing it.

I think this is what they call a crisis...

Wowwie, wow, wow... I am rather pleased with myself today... edits on When the Wall Came Tumbling Down are going very smoothly - I've busted through 60 pages in about an hour and I've laughed out loud sixty times as well... this is the book that will put me on the map.  For those of you reading back news a year from now, you will stumble across and say, "wowwie, wow, wow, he knew back then that this one was gonna be a hit." 

I've started working on a new cover for it as well... as soon as that is done, it will debut over there to the right with a status update scrolling above it.  And I'm sure I'll give a link here too...

I've decided since I feel the need to slim down before summer to launch a new diet for myself... I've yet to start it or stick to it, but I'm formulating it like mad... here goes:

AM-carbs (toast, muffins, cereal, pop tarts, cookies) in moderation... when I say cookies I mean three or four, not a box, and a caffeinated beverage (coffee, tea, Mountain Dew)

lunch-Taco Bell bean burrito, iced tea (not only inexpensive, but heavy on protein and enough of a boost to get you through the rest of the day)

PM-the clichéd sensible dinner... some steak, some potatoes, some veggies, juice (at that 25% stuff), milk or water, something sweet... 

the two major keys to this whole thing are 1) must drink 6 or 7 mugs of water throughout the day, 2) you must eat nothing past 8pm - nothing! and 3) try to use whatever restraint you may have and keep any snacking to a minimum if at all... this rule can also be swapped with this one: try to do a little exercise - run up and down the stairs a few times, clean up the basement, hang some pictures, chase the dog around the house, whatever, just move a little bit. 

I think if I can stick to it, eventually the excess will fall off and I'll be a nice, svelte little boy again.  :)

Enough of my idiotic dieting tips that I have yet to take... this message was intended to tell you that I'm hard at work getting prepared for the next piece of crap from the Bohatka Library in the fall... g'bye.

Indigestion and neglect... I'm really hoping that all of you, my faithful readers, are busy masticating over Divan to Couch.  It took me a while to do and it proves to be an interesting read... it'd be a shame if no one was reading it.  :(  And I know, I know, I've been neglecting those of you who already have read it, but then again, I don't see any email coming my way, or the forums lit with activity.  Let me know your out there if your out there...

I discovered the wonders of home business and my taxes... so I'm getting a decent refund... now I wish I didn't have to take a loss of the writing business again next year!  Hint, hint (go buy a book).  I don't really have much planned in terms of content... it looks like this is the time of year I concentrate on my craft... well, that and finishing my basement.  The good news is, in both counts, that I finally have some cheese set aside to buy lumber and wallboard, and I have started editing When the Wall Came Tumbling Down (every time I say that John "Cougar" Mellencamp jumps into my head with those driving bass drums and the snapping fingers).  Yes, you read that correctly, I'm on chapter 5 right now and it's been flowing along smashingly... I forgot how damn entertaining this one was (is) and it's well, very fun to read... I'm flying through it, making tweaks and omissions here and there... I'm back to working on this stuff... this fall, look for it on the web everywhere. 

From Divan to Couch is finally available.  Click here to check it out, if you didn't already follow through with the popup I added to the main page.  Enjoy!  Oh, and shoot me some feedback on your thoughts either in the forums or by good old email.

Building on fire... nothing is burning down... I just feel like I'm on fire lately and I'm trying to build on that to propel me forward.  Finally my subconscious vacation is over and I'm ready to start typing again.  New thoughts for Better Parts are synapsing... From Divan to Couch is finally complete (look for a posting, links and fanfare tomorrow)... the final edits for WTWCTD are beckoning as well.  And get this, I even started writing a poem this morning... okay, enough laughter!  Instead of planning an attack sequence this time, I'm going to run with whatever I feel like doing at any given moment... if that's typing a chapter, so be it.  If that's editing a page, so be it.  If that's writing something completely new, yup, you guessed it, so be it.  I'm not going to lock myself down with rules of engagement anymore... I'm going to be free and do what I want, when I want - let's see how far this gets me.    So then... with this new found freedom and gears-a-turning mentality, check back regularly for more frequent updates... especially tomorrow when I reveal the oft-delayed From Divan to Couch. 

Out of titles... My brain is just starting to tick, forgive my sloppiness.  It's early... and I must confess being a computer guy by day doesn't really bode well for having computer problems at night.  I've had a drive array problem for a few weeks that makes uploading this stuff during the day a total pain in the ... I'm working around it and have decided to schedule myself some time to look at it tomorrow. 

I have completed Divan to Couch and I really do anticipate posting it tomorrow.  Just need to breeze through it again tonight to see if I forgot anything.  Look for it tomorrow.  Seriously!

I've been hearing mumblings about site problems and I really would like to fix them, but I need to know specifically what's going wrong.  Send email - I don't bite.  Really.  CHOMP!  Oops... got a little excited. 

Happy New-ness... I trust that all you boys and girls had a good Christmas and an even better New Years Eve!  Me... I was asleep by midnight on New Years and Christmas continues to puzzle me... so much confusion and wanton desire it's refreshing, but then coming the phony-baloney crap.. you know the stuff everyone is always preaching - it's not about the gifts... yes it is!  It is!  And everyone should realize that by now!  Drop the damn act... the holier-than-thou no gifts thing.  It's one day a year when you can really expect people to shine... to really come through and drop some love in your lap in the form of shiny paper, ribbons and bows... for me, Christmas is all about the love and the thoughts and the show-up-manship of it all... it's a sport and the guy with the biggest wallet wins.  But then again, I shouldn't say much, my wallet was minute and there were a few people I had to avoid.  :)  Seriously, the holiday for me is all about love... just hanging out with people you genuinely like being around (if only for a few hours once a year) and feeling the love in the air and for some people that love is about giving a gift and for some people is about receiving one to know that they care.

On to the real news... Divan to Couch has been delayed far beyond what I anticipated.  If any of you were anxiously awaiting it to show up, throw a line and say you care.  I have been diligent with it... and I'm almost done.  Patience, young padawan!  Speaking of padawan's... I just saw Moulin Rouge... if it were about a half-hour shorter, it would have found a home in my DVD library.  A very good, quirky movie... as I would normally say, "my brand of whimsy."  And I have a sudden hankering for a taste of Absinthe.  :)

And, as they repeatedly reminded us in Moulin Rouge, the show must go on... so I'm going to re-dedicate myself to this other little sport of mine.  With all the excitement and change of the last year it was hard for me to get to the keyboard and pound out paragraphs... but this year I have a new place to do it and by garsh, I'm going to!  Oh, and I have a new working video camera, so expect more content that will truly make this place a "productions" rather than a web log.

So, with that in mind, my first project is going to be finishing Divan to Couch, the stories behind the stories of Enough Shorts... second will be final edits on When the Wall Came Tumbling Down.  And lastly, this year will hopefully find me honing what I do and getting to finish that rough version of Better Parts.  And in-between it all, look for new things from the website and in other areas as well... and as usual, I'll keep you informed if you want to be informed.  Thanks all...

Liar: As Henry Rollins sang back in 1994 to some degree of authority and fame, I'm a liar!  Yes.  I'll admit it... I said I was going to have Divan to Couch ready by today, but alas... I haven't finished writing it yet.  I only have a few more entries so look for it late next week.  Sorry for those of you waiting on it. 

Overdue:  This is a long time coming I s'pose.  In the next day or so I should be blessed with time - time to fix up this dang on website.  There's still pages setup for that ill-fated menu change in time for Halloween, and those graphics strewn all about.  I got it all worked out in my head just need to do the work. 

Ghirardelli chocolates rule almost as much as Frerro Roche, Combos and Pocky!

My little bro has put me to shame in the website updating department and already has a URL - look for it to make a debut on the title bar, but for those of you paying attention its: www.whitehippo.com check it out.

The aforementioned oft-rumored Enough Shorts commentary is a reality.  It's about 1/3 of the way complete and has a title - From Divan to Couch, and it'll be available by the middle of next week.  I'm planning a little fan fare for its arrival, so stay tuned!  :) 

Just walkin' around... looks like we're going to get some serious snow tonight.  There's always something fun about the first true snow fall... I'm looking forward to it and all the traffic that comes with it.

My little bro has made me proud and put together his own website... check him out at: cjb5790.tripod.com the kid's got some good things to say and it's a worthwhile visit. 

I'm planning that oft-rumored Enough Shorts commentary.  It is official.  I hop to debut at least the very first few anecdotes the second week of December.  I'll keep you informed of any developments. 

Until then, I hope I'll be fixing this dangon site... there's plenty of broken links and neglected information.  I'll be in touch.

Words.  These words are made to scream... these words are made to quip... but do these words do anything at all?  These words are scripted with passion... these words are built with fury... but do these words feel at all?  These words break barriers and build walls... these words span bridges and burn them to the ground... but do these words heal like those before them? 

I can't... I can't seem... I can't seem to find my words.  They're locked... no they're buried somewhere and there might be an "X" to mark the spot, but I can't find it.  I've been looking, oh yes, I've been searching, but my words have all dried up.  They are shriveled and maligned and sitting somewhere frightened and fearful and probably buried with an "X" pointing them out to the whole world... all but me.  I can't find my words and it's wearing on me so... I'm sick with life, I'm sick with the flu because of it.  I'm stressed and worried, I'm scared and tired... I'm bored and busy, all because my words are missing. 

This is all I have and all I ever wanted to have, but they are gone from this metaphysical world.  I can't find them... I want to find them, but I can't and I'm crying out for all the world to see, for all the world to help me - find my words! 

Words... they're all I have in an intangible world and they've left me... oh where, oh where could they have gone?

Finally... I think I've finally worked out these stupid kinks in this site... as I've said before I really love the new navigational structure, but for some reason it doesn't like my web programming skills (or lack thereof) so I had to make a few changes... one of the most noticeable is the front page.  I'm sure I can get creative with it down the road, but for now, I'm just happy with a working site. 

In other news, nothing is going on.  I think I've finally decided to not pressure myself on the next two major projects lined up.  I think by allowing that stress and self-pressure to become minimized I might be able to pull this cramp from my writing.  With that said, I'll air it out here... I'm taking the holidays off.  So, if something does get done in that time frame it'll be considered a bonus.  Ahh... I can feel that stress dissipating already.  No deadlines... no self-inflicted grudges... just happy ole me.  I'm already grossly behind date on Better Parts, what's another two months going to hurt.  I think I figured it out... it takes me about two years to get through the roughest version of any novel... I started Better Parts in August of 1999, if not earlier - and here we are 26 months beyond that and still only 118 pages in... parenthood does take a lot out of you.  :) 

I've also decided when I do go back to work, it will be on When The Wall Came Tumbling Down.  I got to get through my last edit there so I can ship it off to Tina for her six month proof read so it'll be ready in time for its Fall 2002 release date... I must admit I truly like having a new book available every fall... gives me satisfaction knowing that I'm producing throughout the year and this is what for. 

Still looking for an agent... a publicist... a rabid fan... someone, anyone who will keep me on my quest to keep going... someone who can stoke the fire and poke me with hot sticks urging me to produce more whimsy for them to devour.  Whatever... time to go read Harry Potter in anticipation of that movie next week.  Adieu.  

Been two weeks... been two weeks since my last update... two weeks since the books came in.  The response has been good, both in comments and surprise and quantity sold.  I don't have much going on at the moment... I seem to be stuck in some land where I'm constantly trying to decide what to do next.  I've got so much in front of me, it's very easy to set it all aside and go watch a movie.  :(  So, I've done a lot of that and I can't say any of them were that good.  Just stuff to keep my brain from thinking about the stuff it needs to accomplish.... although I could say dramatically that I broke out a bit this week and last... have a project going on in the real world that has kept me busy and creative, so that's a plus.  I want to start editing and writing, but the mood just isn't right.  I'm also going to squash the site layout as it is now... I can honestly say - I hate it.  I like some of what I did, but it just doesn't function well... it's rather bloated and I hate it!  So I probably start work on that soon... and as usual if anything comes up I'll post.  Sorry it took so long and I promise it won't be this long between hellos from now on.

Books here.  40 copies of Enough Shorts and 20 copies of RBK showed up at the house on Friday.  I've already blown through a dozen or so, but there are plenty available for immediate shipment. 

I've chosen today as the day that Better Parts gets it's first fresh ink in months.  It's all there, ready to pour out of me... I can't wait! 

Books on the way... I placed my order, they are in the mail.  2 weeks, and we shall have 40 copies of Enough Shorts for a Wardrobe, Volume One for your immediate purchase.  Rumor has it quite a few have already leapt off warehouse racks for bookshelf placement... I'll have to wait and see.  And, of course, one to be brutally up front and honest here's what I will see:

Copies purchased through c b j Productions- $3.82

Copies purchased through iUniverse - $2.99

Copies purchased through other resellers - $1.80

So, as you can clearly see, I do get a little more in my pocket and you get an autographed copy when you purchase through this site.  

In other news, I started writing again... yes, albeit slow and steady, I've got two short stories half way written... this is generally how I get back into the race.  In another two weeks or so, work should be full steam ahead on Better Parts.  Can't wait to see where it takes in me light of the state of the world now.  Hope it doesn't affect it too much considering it's happenstance is 1999. 

I registered a new web address yesterday - www.cbj.info.  The .info's are out and in use.  It should be fully active and bringing you to the main page in a few days.  Thanks.  Out.

Site redux.  Well, the time has come.  Since that awful day two weeks ago when I nonchalantly deleted my navigational structure, the site is back at full strength with a little holiday spirit to boot.  Hope you like it... as always with a revamp of this magnitude any weird occurrences and what not please let me know ASAP. 

Finally, finally, finally... both books are listed on all the major sites.  And I got my first two sales... I'm so excited!  I'm sure I'll have to to yipe about later, but for now, I got some more troubleshooting to do.  :) 

Stuff... I'm finally listed twice on Barnes & Noble.  It's a start, but I'm left wondering why Amazon doesn't have the new listing, although technically I'm listed twice there as well... I finally added the seller link for an autographed copy.  I'm quickly realizing that my books, right now, are almost irrelevant.  No one is interested and I won't bang on a drum... when I feel time is right and I crack this shell that I live in some more, I'll go do it... but right now I seem to be befuddle with all sorts of shit.  Yes, I said shit.  I got money problems, who doesn't?  I got ambition problems, who doesn't?  I got physical ailments... the list can go on and it appears that I'm losing sight of my goal... my dream.  I need to get back into this productive mode that I seem to have misplaced with the blossoming flowers.  It'll come... it always does, but I have to shed this skin of indifference and loathing first.  I've been saying it way too much, but I got a lot of ideas for how Better Parts is supposed to go... I just don't have the drive to take me to getting it done.  I also see the need to get editing for When the Wall underway... and even this morning, I had some pretty kick ass ideas for a certain auto-biography that I'll keep under wraps right now... I guess in short the good news is that I'm getting some snaps... some shots, some glimpses of return.  Just have to nurture it. 

As always, my books are out there, they are available for purchase, yet no one has in the last three months.  So how about... how about adding the latest from the Bohatka library to your bookshelves today.

Oh, and navigation should return with a possible new sheen this weekend.

Another article.  Since I've been moored to and surrounded by breaking news about what is now being called "America's New War" I came across this and I think it fits rather well with some of the feeling I have left...

by Leonard Pitts

More... I feel like I should be saying more... doing more... I've donated the little bit I can afford, and I've been ostracized for thinking, feeling, that although this is horribly tragic, life, my life, goes on.  It hasn't been impenetrably compromised, although I am feeling more insecure, and more unsafe than ever.  Whereas when I was younger there was this big green monster hiding under the bed ready to grab my ankles and pull me under, now, just starting this Wednesday, there's this Turban-clad Islamic ready to declare jihad on my family... and I'm fearful.  I laid in bed Friday night loaded with fear... my wife had the same feeling, as observed by her behavior, came into the house after a late night cleaning and rubbish removal spree and said she felt unsafe... like someone had seemingly snuck into the house during her process.  Mind you the neighborhood is very laxed, we have good relations with neighbors on all sides, and never once have I felt alone, or vulnerable, or afraid... but after she said that I started feeling uneasy - oh the wicked pictures a half-conscious brain can conjure.  And as I battled with this griping weakness, I started to analyze it, over her teeny snore.  It was this tragedy infecting me like a fever... the terrorism reached me, it got into my house and into my family.  It had struck, and by those definitions and standards they have won... I claim defeat.

I stumbled across another article I found interesting... and I feel that I need to say something about the Michael Moore article.  I haven't seen Roger & Me.  I never watched the man's television show... I never read one of his articles... this isn't to say that I'm not familiar.  Michael Moore was instantly recognizable to me... maybe it was that Siskel & Ebert I caught when his movie was out, but I knew the name and I read the article.  The first thing that struck me was the source, he was brutally accessible.  If I felt so endured I could probably get a hold of Mr. Moore and converse in a matter of minutes.  The second thing that hit me was the candid, almost conspiracy theorist antics of his almost anti-USA banter... and then I did some research.  Yes, the US is way more guilty than I thought... and I am reeling because of what happened, it's just odd that this is okay when it's happening elsewhere, often times sponsored by our government... are we hospitable to terrorist activity?  Should we be on the list of places to investigate and threaten?  Anyway... to that artice:

This was written by Tamim Ansary, a writer and columnist in San
Francisco, who comes from Afghanistan

I've been hearing a lot of talk about "bombing Afghanistan back to the
Stone Age." Ronn Owens, on KGO Talk Radio today, allowed that this would mean killing innocent people, people who had nothing to do with this atrocity, but "we're at war, we have to accept collateral damage. What else can we do?" Minutes later I heard some TV pundit discussing whether we "have the belly to do what must be done." And I thought about the issues being raised especially hard because I am from Afghanistan, and even though I've lived here for 35 years I've never
lost track of what's going on there. So I want to tell anyone who will listen how it all looks from where I'm standing.

I speak as one who hates the Taliban and Osama Bin Laden. There is no
doubt in my mind that these people were responsible for the atrocity in New York. I agree that something must be done about those monsters. But the Taliban and Ben Laden are not Afghanistan. They're not even the government of Afghanistan.  The Taliban are a cult of ignorant psychotics who took over Afghanistan in 1997. Bin Laden is a political criminal with a plan. When you think Taliban, think
Nazis. When you think Bin Laden, think Hitler. And when you think "the
people of Afghanistan" think "the Jews in the concentration camps."

It's not only that the Afghan people had nothing to do with this atrocity. They were the first victims of the perpetrators. They would exult if someone would come in there, take out the Taliban and clear out the rats nest of international thugs holed up in their country. Some say, why don't the Afghans rise up and overthrow the Taliban? The answer is, they're starved, exhausted, hurt,
incapacitated, suffering. A few years ago, the United Nations estimated that there are 500,000 disabled orphans in Afghanistan--a country with no economy, no food.
There are millions of widows. And the Taliban has been burying these widows alive in mass graves. The soil is littered with land mines; the farms were all destroyed by the Soviets. These are a few of the reasons why the Afghan people have not overthrown the Taliban.

We come now to the question of bombing Afghanistan back to the Stone
Age. Trouble is, that's been done. The Soviets took care of it already. Make the Afghans suffer? They're already suffering. Level their houses? Done. Turn their schools into piles of rubble? Done. Eradicate their hospitals? Done. Destroy their infrastructure? Cut them off from medicine and health care? Too late. Someone already did all that. New bombs would only stir the rubble of earlier bombs. Would
they at least get the Taliban? Not likely. In today's Afghanistan, only the Taliban eat, only they have the means to move around. They'd slip away and hide. Maybe the bombs would get some of those disabled orphans, they don't move too fast--they don't even have wheelchairs. But flying over Kabul and dropping bombs wouldn't really be a strike against the criminals who did this horrific thing. Actually it would only be making common cause with the Taliban--by raping once again the people they've been raping all this time.

So what else is there? What can be done, then? Let me now speak with
true fear and trembling. The only way to get Bin Laden is to go in there with ground troops. When people speak of "having the belly to do what needs to be done" they're thinking in terms of having the belly to kill as many as needed. Having the belly to overcome any moral qualms about killing innocent people. Let's
pull our heads out of the sand. What's actually on the table is Americans dying. And not just because some Americans would die fighting their way through Afghanistan to Bin Laden's hideout. It's much bigger than that, folks. Because to get any troops to Afghanistan, we'd have to go through Pakistan. Would they let us? Not likely. The conquest of Pakistan would have to be first. Will other Muslim nations just stand by? You see where I'm going. We're flirting with a world war between Islam and the West. And guess what: that's Bin Laden's program. That's
exactly what he wants. That's why he did this.

Read his speeches and statements. It's all right there. He really believes Islam would beat the west. It might seem ridiculous, but he figures if he can polarize the world into Islam and the West, he's got a billion soldiers. If the west wreaks a holocaust in those lands, that's a billion people with nothing left to lose, and that's even better from Bin Laden's point of view. He's probably wrong, in the end the West would win, whatever that would mean, but the war would last for years and
millions would die, not just theirs but ours. Who has the belly for that? Bin Laden does. Anyone else?

Tamim Ansary

 

Death, Downtown by Michael Moore

Dear friends,

I was supposed to fly today on the 4:30 PM American Airlines flight from
LAX to JFK. But tonight I find myself stuck in L.A. with an incredible
range of emotions over what has happened on the island where I work and
live in New York City.

My wife and I spent the first hours of the day -- after being awakened by
phone calls from our parents at 6:40am PT -- trying to contact our daughter
at school in New York and our friend JoAnn who works near the World Trade
Center.

I called JoAnn at her office. As someone picked up, the first tower
imploded, and the person answering the phone screamed and ran out, leaving
me no clue as to whether or not she or JoAnn would live.

It was a sick, horrible, frightening day.

On December 27, 1985 I found myself caught in the middle of a terrorist
incident at the Vienna airport -- which left 30 people dead, both there and
at the Rome airport. (The machine-gunning of passengers in each city was
timed to occur at the same moment.)

I do not feel like discussing that event tonight because it still brings up
too much despair and confusion as to how and why I got to live… a fluke, a
mistake, a few feet on the tarmac, and I am still here, there but for the
grace of…

Safe. Secure. I’m an American, living in America. I like my illusions. I
walk through a metal detector, I put my carry-ons through an x-ray machine,
and I know all will be well.

Here’s a short list of my experiences lately with airport security:

* At the Newark Airport, the plane is late at boarding everyone. The
counter can’t find my seat. So I am told to just “go ahead and get on” --
without a ticket!

* At Detroit Metro Airport, I don’t want to put the lunch I just bought at
the deli through the x-ray machine so, as I pass through the metal
detector, I hand the sack to the guard through the space between the
detector and the x-ray machine. I tell him “It’s just a sandwich.” He
believes me and doesn’t bother to check. The sack has gone through neither
security device.

* At LaGuardia in New York, I check a piece of luggage, but decide to catch
a later plane. The first plane leaves without me, but with my bag -- no one
knowing what is in it.

* Back in Detroit, I take my time getting off the commuter plane. By the
time I have come down its stairs, the bus that takes the passengers to the
terminal has left -- without me. I am alone on the tarmac, free to wander
wherever I want. So I do. Eventually, I flag down a pick-up truck and an
airplane mechanic gives me a ride the rest of the way to the terminal.

* I have brought knives, razors; and once, my traveling companion brought a
hammer and chisel. No one stopped us.

Of course, I have gotten away with all of this because the airlines
consider my safety SO important, they pay rent-a-cops $5.75 an hour to make
sure the bad guys don’t get on my plane. That is what my life is worth --
less than the cost of an oil change.

Too harsh, you say? Well, chew on this: a first-year pilot on American
Eagle (the commuter arm of American Airlines) receives around $15,000 a
year in annual pay.

That’s right -- $15,000 for the person who has your life in his hands.
Until recently, Continental Express paid a little over $13,000 a year.
There was one guy, an American Eagle pilot, who had four kids so he went
down to the welfare office and applied for food stamps -- and he was eligible!

Someone on welfare is flying my plane? Is this for real? Yes, it is.

So spare me the talk about all the precautions the airlines and the FAA is
taking. They, like all businesses, are concerned about one thing -- the
bottom line and the profit margin.

Four teams of 3-5 people were all able to penetrate airport security on the
same morning at 3 different airports and pull off this heinous act? My only
response is -- that’s all?

Well, the pundits are in full diarrhea mode, gushing on about the
“terrorist threat” and today’s scariest dude on planet earth -- Osama bin
Laden. Hey, who knows, maybe he did it. But, something just doesn’t add up.

Am I being asked to believe that this guy who sleeps in a tent in a desert
has been training pilots to fly our most modern, sophisticated jumbo jets
with such pinpoint accuracy that they are able to hit these three targets
without anyone wondering why these planes were so far off path?

Or am I being asked to believe that there were four religious/political
fanatics who JUST HAPPENED to be skilled airline pilots who JUST HAPPENED
to want to kill themselves today?

Maybe you can find one jumbo jet pilot willing to die for the cause -- but
FOUR? Ok, maybe you can -- I don’t know.

What I do know is that all day long I have heard everything about this bin
Laden guy except this one fact -- WE created the monster known as Osama bin
Laden!

Where did he go to terrorist school? At the CIA!

Don’t take my word for it -- I saw a piece on MSNBC last year that laid it
all out. When the Soviet Union occupied Afghanistan, the CIA trained him
and his buddies in how to commits acts of terrorism against the Soviet
forces. It worked! The Soviets turned and ran. Bin Laden was grateful for
what we taught him and thought it might be fun to use those same techniques
against us.

We abhor terrorism -- unless we’re the ones doing the terrorizing.

We paid and trained and armed a group of terrorists in Nicaragua in the
1980s who killed over 30,000 civilians. That was OUR work. You and me.
Thirty thousand murdered civilians and who the hell even remembers!

We fund a lot of oppressive regimes that have killed a lot of innocent
people, and we never let the human suffering THAT causes to interrupt our
day one single bit.

We have orphaned so many children, tens of thousands around the world, with
our taxpayer-funded terrorism (in Chile, in Vietnam, in Gaza, in Salvador)
that I suppose we shouldn’t be too surprised when those orphans grow up and
are a little whacked in the head from the horror we have helped cause.

Yet, our recent domestic terrorism bombings have not been conducted by a
guy from the desert but rather by our own citizens: a couple of ex-military
guys who hated the federal government.

From the first minutes of today’s events, I never heard that possibility
suggested. Why is that?

Maybe it’s because the A-rabs are much better foils. A key ingredient in
getting Americans whipped into a frenzy against a new enemy is the
all-important race card. It’s much easier to get us to hate when the object
of our hatred doesn’t look like us.

Congressmen and Senators spent the day calling for more money for the
military; one Senator on CNN even said he didn’t want to hear any more talk
about more money for education or health care -- we should have only one
priority: our self-defense.

Will we ever get to the point that we realize we will be more secure when
the rest of the world isn’t living in poverty so we can have nice running
shoes?

In just 8 months, Bush gets the whole world back to hating us again. He
withdraws from the Kyoto agreement, walks us out of the Durban conference
on racism, insists on restarting the arms race -- you name it, and Baby
Bush has blown it all.

The Senators and Congressmen tonight broke out in a spontaneous version of
“God Bless America.” They’re not a bad group of singers!

Yes, God, please do bless us.

Many families have been devastated tonight. This just is not right. They
did not deserve to die. If someone did this to get back at Bush, then they
did so by killing thousands of people who DID NOT VOTE for him! Boston, New
York, DC, and the planes’ destination of California -- these were places
that voted AGAINST Bush!

Why kill them? Why kill anyone? Such insanity…

Let’s mourn, let’s grieve, and when it’s appropriate let’s examine our
contribution to the unsafe world we live in.

It doesn’t have to be like this…

Yours,

Michael Moore
mmflint@aol.com

 

A second day of infamy. 

I had an incident a few weeks back… some of you may have seen the main page of the site and noticed a thank you to an officer from the Jackson Township Police Force.  It’s really a trivial little thing… I was wrong and my hand was slapped.  I came away from the incident (and don’t get me wrong, I’ll be more than happy than to explain the whole “incident” I just think that it shouldn’t overshadow my point) with a newfound respect and appreciation for the human condition, and boy did I need it.  It was a selfless act that restored some faith that I had lost in us as human’s being.  And I was happy with that… the world had a different sheen driving away, I was giddy, like a trick-or-treater ripping open that first piece of mom and dad inspected goo.  It made a huge difference in my life but as all things generally do, it faded… it just disappeared into the ethos of life.  Its significance discarded with that week’s rubbish.  And that’s the part that scares me…

            What scares me really is that two hours into the horrific attacks on some of the very places that decorate my memories of a vacation and postcards that someday I hope to display, is that my nausea had grown satiated.  That quiver that gripped my chin had silenced and frankly I was just looking for something else to keep me going… something to restore that feeling that I indeed had feeling.  I was numb… still am for the most part, but as I sit here now even, listening to reports in the background about another building burning, I’m still scared… somewhere in the middle I stopped feeling and that’s when it became commonplace.  It didn’t affect me anymore.  I heard the account of Barbara Olson celling her husband in almost a jokey fashion, “Can you believe this ... we are being hijacked.”  As if to say that they really think they’re going to get one over on this American superpower with “knives and sharp instruments.”  I heard about the bodies plunging from 90 stories up in a fatal decision to flee or suffocate.  Even here, I call them bodies… those were people, those were John’s and Jane’s and Chuck’s, but I’ve become sadly desensitized, for which there is no mourning. 

            Honestly I fought composure hard in the first three hours that I walked past the TV at work, or while listening to the radio as I snuck out to get the latest on the scene info from Howard Stern.  I even dripped a few tears, allowing their sticky residue to turn pasty on my cheek on the ride home after we were permitted to leave – there wasn’t much concentration left in anyone.  Now, I sit here in shock, but mostly awe, that this could happen, that this happened, and the fact that I’m completely unable to find the right words, the right amount of fear and the right amount of explanation about why I’m waiting for more.  Wasn’t this enough?  I think there’s some displaced anger in there, some misplaced understanding… and the revelation that I am indeed like the rest of the world; anxiously waiting to get the questions answered… what did actually happen?  Where there fires in San Antonio?  Was there a fire at the Washington Mall?  How about those car bombs at Capitol Hill and the State Building?  And what’s this backyard business?  The Delta flight in Cleveland… the black van on I-271.  There’s this deep seated hostility brewing and I’m not alone… most of the nation feels the same bark from the pits of our stomach, the heart landing heavy on top, no doubt. 

            And it is with a heavy heart that I will strive to be a better citizen… a better neighbor… a better son… a better husband… a better father… and a better self.  It’s not going to be easy and six months from now when these images I’ve absolutely immersed myself in and actually crave more of now will have become an after thought, a hunk of history I’ll revisit next year and then maybe in another four years, or perhaps it’ll become some sort of holiday, and we’ll all go out and play volleyball and laugh and eat, having back-to-back Monday’s off work should be a good thing.  But for now, I’ll keep on task waiting for that final fatality count to come so I’ll know how many targets to put on a “faceless coward.”

Navigation woes... it appears that I seem to have misplaced my navigational structure!  Damnit!  I just made changes to it and it disappeared into the computer ethos!  So, for the time being, the time being that I can't get to it, we'll go without... there isn't much happening in other parts of the site anyway... maybe this is just the big bang I need to redesign the whole place... I'll keep you posted.

Happy Anniversary... it's been a year since this site was launched... and it's been almost a year since The Root Beer Kid was released.  Ah, a whole year.  It's been a slightly sub-normal year actually, with the job changes, the stress from this second career, the back injury, the teeth problems of late... creditors, debtors and the like all creeping around the corner.  I've very uncomfortable with my station but that will change.  I'll guarantee it.  There have been the good moments too... buying the house, getting published, Ki's 2nd year of life... there's plenty more too. 

In honor of the year anniversary I've dropped iWon as a sponsor... so that leaves only Barnes & Noble. 

As always Enough Shorts can be preordered here... PayPal actually has this new shopping cart technology that makes shopping a lot easier if you'd like to donate or pick up copies of either book. 

In celebration of our anniversary I've taken to changing a few little things around here... to keep things a little left of stale.  Any problems, please drop me a line. 

Listed... I just started looking at things and noticed that the Bohatka library on iUniverse has just expanded.  If you search for authors you now get both books, which is very cool... this is the first place and time I've seen them together, side by side and they look rather handsome... like a matching set almost. 

As usual the thoughts and ides have been flying to me at an astounding pace.  I've taken to using my trusty mini-handheld-recorder-thing again to get them all down... in the course of ten minutes I redeployed an entire portion of Better Parts that apparently a piece of my subconscious didn't like... my engineers came up with something better... only if they'd pass along the new design to the foremen, perhaps I could start writing again.  Anyway, I did get these new directions, and I have them documented I just need to make them fit into the paper product.  As that stands, I got 142 pages and twice as much to go... in idea form anyway.  This is proving to be one hell of a tricky little book.  So much I'm trying to cram into it, maybe its distracting me from my goal of actually getting a rough version committed. 

When the Wall edits have been postponed as well... it seems the second I decided to go with my original plan, finally, some door was closed and resourced were free'd because that's when all these ideas hit.  I just don't seem to be in much of a mood to do any editing.  I'm just bogged down and need to work through the pressure and/or stress of whatever causing this degree of lethargy. 

In good news, I may have found the perfect outlet for some of my pent up energy... the winding down kind.  Madden 2002 hit and I fear I will be a zombie in front of a screen somewhere until my thumbs double in size with blisters... I've been looking forward to this for a few weeks and it's finally here and I'm anxious to veg-out with some friends and toss around the pixelated pigskin.  I'm trying something different this year too... since my Playstation was a victim of theft, I'm doing the PC version this year - I'll let you know how it fares.

In other news... I heard a minute or so of Michael Jackson's new cut... man oh man, I gotta say I was a little excited and I sat there to wait for it to finish... it was pretty good.  It's no Thriller or Beat It, or even Dirty Diana or Smooth Criminal (no can't be that with that monstrosity that is Alien Ant Farm blasphemously slaughtering it every 18 minutes on MTV)... anyway, I'm looking forward to the album and the recount of the tribute concerts.  Yes, I'm a fan, have been since The Wall and will probably always be... yes, I can't seem to shake the image of the melting man's nose dripping away while he cradles his "Prince" while he's chirping that familiar chirp between notes, but the song is good.  And will get better on each listen... I do think he will rise again to the occasion and the next big thing in music will be the last big thing in the 80's - M.J.

8-10 Weeks - I just got the email from Ron Amack at iUniverse telling me that Enough Shorts for a Wardrobe is off to the press.  All the proofs and the proof of the proofs have been approved and returned and the book is being mass produced right now.  The downside is they are telling me 8-10 weeks... but thus far I've been thoroughly impressed with Mr. Amack and iUniverse - they've been ahead of schedule, very forthright, honest and communicative with me.  Kudos to all. 

My brain is finally returning to normal... for a week there I truly feel like I lost my mind... I was completely burned out and looking forward to a breakdown.  It may have been a mild one, but it was one nonetheless.  So, I'm back...

Speaking of brains, mine has been twittering with the latest stuff... I've gotten several leads and new directions for Better Parts and writing will start again pretty dang on soon.  In the mean time I have been slowly getting into my finish edits on When The Wall, so that means I've been pretty busy.

In the last bit of news for today, I've got one announcement and one thought.  First, I am involved with a football pool again this year... it's a very simple ordeal and rather inexpensive with lots on the line.  If you're interested click here for more information.  As for that thought... I'm completely infatuated with DVD and I've always wanted to explain the stories contained in Enough Shorts, so I'm thinking about taking a license with a popular DVD feature, the running commentary.  What I'm hoping to achieve is just kind of blow by blow or who knows how it'll come out (I guess this little detail is why I haven't done it yet) but little anecdotes and explanations into the stories what inspired them and perhaps little pieces and parts that are harder to decipher... just something that'll have it all maybe make more sense and be a bit more enjoyable.  As I say in the Introduction each and every one of those stories comes from something almost real life and it'd be cool to share just where and what they came from.  As usual if you'd like to sound off about this or anything else, post a message.  Thanks all - out!

Proofs returned... publication due!  Off to the press... yes, the proofs have been returned and overall I am a very happy individual.  The proofing went a lot easier and better than I'd anticipated.  I was truly dreading the proof process!  RBK was horrible!  Perhaps because I'd been over the material umpteen times, but it was just one of the worst things I'd had to do in my professional writing.  But I made it through and I think RBK is a great piece of literature.  And Enough Shorts seemed even better.  Sitting back and reading through it all, months after my last pass, the flow seemed to gel, I think I made the right decisions there... and the overall subject matter didn't seem so... bad.  So bleak, I think I described it in the Introduction, but it really wasn't... I could themes jump out on this last read and it does work cohesively... and then there are a few slipstream thing that are really way out there and take a lot of attention and comprehension to figure out... so it's like a bonus, a puzzle built in.  A few I even had a hard time with but nabbed them.  Anyway, we're probably looking at anywhere from a month to six weeks for final product to reach my door.  I'm going to go with an initial purchase of 50 copies, so if you're thinking about picking one up, please get it from me.  Not only will I sign the thing and try to include a nice little extra, you'll be helping me out tremendously. 

So, I s'pose now we should start thinking about the future.  Well, here's what I have in mind.  I'm going to be starting to do a final edit of When The Wall in the next two weeks... it's going to take some time, but it'll be complete by winter, alright maybe March of next year.  Then it'll go to mom and another (Holly, Aunt Val) for their last edits and my release schedule will remain the same.  Next fall you will get another novel from the Bohatka library.  So, I'm pushing this way out there because I'm hoping to surprise myself.  I haven't wandered into Bentley and Watson territory for a good long while so I'm anxious to re-familiarize myself and set the world right... I'm telling you, this is my breakout novel.  This is the best piece of pulp I've ever come up with and I need to make sure it remains as perfect as that thought that lays in my mind.  :)  So, next fall you will have When The Wall Came Tumbling Down in your hand.  Up until that point, above and beyond all this work, I will try to market myself best I can... I'm going to send freebies out to papers and other outlets where I could get recognized.  I'm going to beg and plead book stores to put me in their "Local Author" section and I'm even going to do a book signing or two or ten.  I need the exposure, I need the criticism and the praise, I need the few pennies I get from each copy.  Regardless of those last three factors, I'm already content with having publications, hunks of pulp to keep on my book shelf and show my children that their pop had an ambition and he made it come to life.  I'm also content that I've succeeded within my goals and dreams and have produced beginning to end two fine pieces of American fiction no matter who sees it or not... I'm having fun, I have a second life, a secret world that is all mine and will be here for me always.  And really that's all that matters... I'm having fun.  Not the kudos, or the money or the movie deals... all that would be killer for the people around me, but I truly not seeking a limelight... I would like to be acknowledged, but right now, what I have is good... now if I could just sneak past this whole nine to five gig that would prove to be icing.  :) 

Proofs are in!  Sorry I've been gone so long... been busy with house things and generally life has been keeping things interesting.  But, here I am, back with news... after some mix-ups and guffaws at the global internet post office, I finally got word that my proofs have been done for two weeks now.  Anyway, this is the hectic and stressful time for me, so I'll be absent again for another week or two, but do keep in mind that when I return it should be a mere month or so until you can have and peruse your very own copy of Enough Shorts For A Wardrobe.  Please stop by that page and take a look at the final cover art and whatever little nuggets I've posted by the time you read this, oh and feel free to preorder a copy or ten!  :)  Thanks all, for your support. 

PSA - I'd like to welcome Mr. Ron Amack into the cbjuniverse.  Welcome!  Ron will be serving as my liaison for the publication of Enough Shorts through iUniverse.  So, if anything should arise or seem skewed in any manner, Ron will be the guy I call. 

So, with the notification of my PSA (Publishing Service Associate), along comes a solid indication that the manuscript has been reviewed and accepted and is on it's way toward a steady format and bulky cover... I can only hope that the graphics guys can come up with a killer cover - I'll know within the next two weeks... although you can't judge a book by its cover, it never hurts to have a really cool and catchy one.  Truth be known, I think the cover for RBK is a bit misleading and I still prefer my original one to theirs... I'm still holding out hope that someday I'll get picked up by the majors, it'll be reprinted in hardcover and carry that all vital silver can design. 

And, again, some reiteration I forgot yesterday...  I'm still looking for an agent... so if you happen to be one, please drop me a line if you're willing to give me a go... or even if you're not a agent, and your heart is in the right place and you've got the time and patience and want to try to sell me and my works to the big houses, drop me a line as well... worst case, you'll get some free copies of a few books.  And, since I'm mentioning it, I'd also like to have someone give me a primer in marketing and PR.  Or, perhaps maybe you do that sort of thing and can help me out on the side... there isn't a lot of money to be made, yet, but perhaps we could all grow together and have Clancy and Crichton like escapades awaiting us down the road.

Flood gates... well, I jumped the gun, and I feel like I did prematurely... I would have liked another day to read and re-read everything, but I just sent the manuscript off to the publisher.  It's out there... and well, I added a lot of goofy stuff to the back matter and pre-page sheets... I hope it pans out, as I did the majority of it on the fly.   I think it's good, but you'll have to be the judge of that in two months or so.  I did get my ISBN # 0-595-19588-1 today... yippee! 

I do have another favor to ask of you... please click on the iWon banner up above and register if you haven't already.  It'll earn me a little income and it could make you a winner... not to mention it's a decent little search engine that I do register at least 100 clicks a day on. 

So, now it's exciting times here in cbj land, so I'll be checking back more and more... adieu. 

It's been awhile - Well, I've been out of the loop for awhile.  Took a little vacation, rested up and finished Enough Shorts For A Wardrobe.  It will go to the publisher Wednesday and begin it's short task of going from pulp to bound pulp with a glossy cover.  I'm anticipating a late August availability, but you can preorder from me today and be ensured a copy at it's earliest. 

It came out better than I anticipated and I was able to read a few stories for the first time in years and I'm still rather proud... the other thing I realized is how dark and depressed I was back then... the output today is so much different, it's refreshingly worlds apart.  I have a lot of people to thank for that, but I'll save it for the book. 

So, I took a vacation and I didn't do much at all... which felt both good and harrowing all at the same time.  I had all this time and I didn't do anything with it - that was disturbing to me, but this little voice kept telling me to be lazy... enjoy it while I can.  So I did... whose to argue with that little voice?  :)  Did get to see a Tribe game through haze colored glasses and saw a killer, as usual, fireworks display out in the great community of Garfield Heights (I use that great sarcastically... although the fireworks were superb.) 

So, with another publication out of the way, that leaves me with only three things to think about in my authorian (there's that cool word again) life.  When The Wall and it's imminent editing process, Better Parts and the completion of its first rough draft, and a book tour of sorts.  I'm thinking of doing a few at some malls in the Parma, North Olmsted, Westlake, Strongsville, Fairlawn and Boardman areas and a few at independent retailers like Barnes & Noble (Fairlawn) and Borders (Strongsville).  I'd like to try places I feel most comfortable in and these are them.  So, with all that, you could really call it a tour... I'd also like to try doing some out of state - perhaps PA and IL where my cousin has now staked out a home.  Must get exposure, right?  :)  So, I've posted this very rough tentative thought, let's see what I wind up chickening out of?  :) 

And in an attempt to beat a wooden horse with a broken spoon or whatever, please start posting in the forums - let's start conversing whoever you are... I see the counter go up... I know you're here!  :)  And please feel free to send some cheese my way by preordering your autographed copy of Enough Shorts, or picking up a third copy of The Root Beer Kid, or even by submitting a donation.  I can use it. 

Way to go Mom!  - Word just trickled down that at 11:25am, Enough Shorts completed it's last editing.  From here, and in the next five days, it will go through it's last revision before heading off to the press.  Again, I state that this will be complete by June 28th, and the schedule listed below is on track, if not ahead. 

Again, special thanks go out to the bestest editor and mother a guy could ask for.  Thanks ma!  You've forgiven for the four months of procrastination and sloth.  :)  And her initial feedback was tremendous... I can't wait to sit down with her and hit the revision trail, should be a hoot. 

So, I guess with this off the front burner (or at least in sl